How to catch a cheater: 15+ methods that you have never tried
Have you started to get that feeling in your gut that something is a bit off? Do you look across at your partner and wonder if you’re paranoid or if they are thinking about someone else while they stare at their phone?
Our gut instinct is usually our first sign that something is wrong with our relationship. After all, even certain studies claim that cheating is predictable. And as many as 54% of men and 34% of women will cheat at some point in their lives. But accusing someone of cheating is a big thing, especially if you don’t have any proof. In this article, we’ll point out all the ways you can find out the truth, and describe all the current methods and questions on how to catch a cheater.
6 evident signs that your partner cheats on you
Firstly, particular behaviors can be huge giveaways when it comes to potential cheating. Here’s what to look out for.
They hardly ever get in touch
If you’re always chasing a text message or waiting for the call that never comes, it could be a sign that they’re calling someone else instead. They might say that they “forget”, but this is one sign that their attention and focus are elsewhere.
They’re always late to meet you
Do they show up to dinner 30 minutes or an hour late, full of apologies? The car broke down; they got caught at work; they lost track of time. If you start hearing these same excuses, again and again, it’s a good indication that there’s something else going on.
They’re living at work lately
Once, they would bound through the door at 5 pm, eager to see you and enjoy life outside of the office, but now they seem to be there all the time. Always working late or having to attend extra meetings after work seems unlikely. The chances are they’re meeting with someone else instead or that they are having an affair at work, similarly to 65% of people who have had romantic relationships with their colleagues.
They’re glued to their phone
They used to be able to carry whole conversations without glancing at their screen. But now they’re always looking at it, and the constant beeps issuing from it grab their attention immediately. Also, you’ve noticed they’ve added a password or lock screen. Let’s be honest, they’re probably hiding something, unless they have phone addiction.
They’re brushing up nicely
It’s always lovely when our partners make an effort to look nice to us. Still, if your usually pretty related partner suddenly starts getting their hair done, or smartening up their clothes for no apparent reason, then they could be trying to look nice for someone else.
You can’t get hold of them
If they’ve usually got their phone on them, and they’re not a doctor with an excuse for having it locked away, the chances are you can normally get hold of them pretty easily. So if their phone is suddenly switched off for a long time, or they don’t answer their messages, then we’re sorry, but they could be cheating.
If you’ve read through this list and you can check off most of the signs, then it is worth considering that your partner might be cheating on you. If you can check off a few, then cheating might not be going on, but it’s worth thinking about why things have changed in your relationship. The affair could still be a possibility.
How to gather evidence of cheating
So, you’ve confirmed your suspicions, and you’re pretty sure you’re being cheated on. What do you do next? Here are the best current methods of gathering your evidence, ready to confront a cheater:
Check who they see regularly
Think about where they go and who they would come into contact with. Who do they spend a lot of time with, at work, at the gym, on the train to work, at any hobbies? If you have the opportunity, pay attention to how they interact with these people, sometimes you can work out what’s going on from just a look or the way two people say goodbye.
Check the house, office, and car
Look for things that seem out of place. Perhaps someone has used a hairbrush you put away when you left this morning, or there’s a new shirt in the washing basket that you’ve not seen them wear before. It could even be an extra wine glass in the dishwasher. These are all signs that someone else was present.
Change your plans without warning
One particularly easy thing to do is change your plans without warning to see if you can catch him out. For example, you could come home early from work or surprise your partner by meeting them at the office for lunch. A lot of luck is involved in this method, but it could be a very effective way to catch a cheater.
Check the paperwork
If you have a joint account, you can quickly check whether your partner has recently had any unexplained charges or payments. If you’re not quite at that stage in your relationship, then you’ll need to rely on finding receipts. The best places to look are in the car, jacket and trouser pockets, and the garbage or recycling. Hotel charges, restaurant receipts for meals, unexplained train tickets, all these could point in the direction of a cheating partner.
Put covert surveillance in place to catch cheaters
Once you’ve gone through initial searches and tried to gather cheating evidence in the ways above, now might be the time to move on to covert surveillance. This can be more difficult to put in place and harder to explain if you are discovered, but it can help uncover useful evidence on cheating.
Video cameras
You could install a video camera in your house (or that of your partner if you don’t live together). Alternatively, you could put one outside the house and point it at the entrance. This would give you a view of any unexpected people arriving. Some recording devices allow you to watch the camera feed remotely, so you can sit in your car or the office and check out what is going on.
Voice recorders
You also can install a voice recorder in a strategic position, and recording and conversations that might happen while you’re not around. This could pick up on conversations with the other person in the affair or your partner discussing the cheating with one of their friends. The important thing to consider here is the device that you choose. You’ll need a recorder that can stay in recording mode for a long time, so check how many hours of recording time is available before you buy.
Location software
A GPS device in your partner’s car or even attached to their belongings could give you a better record of where they go and provide you with more evidence. It is worth bearing in mind, however, that if this is discovered too soon, then you may not have gathered all the information you need, and you will have aroused their suspicions.
How to use human surveillance
If technological methods are not available to you, using human beings is your next best option. Here are some ways to collect cheating evidence in person
Do the leg work
You can follow your partner yourself (trench coat and sunglasses optional). Perhaps you could follow them at a distance in the car when they are off to “meet friends”. Or you could head to their office and follow them on their lunch break to see where they go. There is always the chance that, unless you are a Private Investigator in your working life, you’ll make a mistake and be discovered.
Get some help
So the next option is to enlist the help of your friends. Find someone you trust and ask them to follow your partner instead. It makes sense to choose someone you know is discreet and who has your best interests at heart. Make sure that they write down the information they collect or take pictures. Your friends wouldn’t be able to spy on your partner continually, but using them when you are not available means that you can make a good tag team.
Call in the professionals
If all else fails (if you don’t think you’d make a good spy, and none of your friends are available or willing), then you can hire a professional detective. They will be discrete, know all the tricks of the trade, and be entirely on your side. But you will have to hand over reasonably substantial sums of money for this service.
Creating a fake online persona to catch cheating partner
Life happens online these days, and sometimes this is the best place to find out whether or not you are being cheated on. Here are some ways to gather cheating evidence by taking on a fake online persona.
A fake social account
One of the easiest ways to do this is to create a fake social account, for example, on Facebook or another social network. Choose the app where your partner spends the most time trying to get them to accept a friend request from you. The drawback is that this will take time, as you’ll need a convincing profile with friends and posting history.
A fake dating account
Creating a fake account on a dating website is another popular method of online snooping. Fill out your profile based on what you know your partner’s preferences are, but be careful not to put in so much personal information that your partner guesses your actual identity. Otherwise, they could accuse you of cheating.
Fake matchmaking
Again, you could enlist a friend’s help here by getting them to get to know and flirt with your partner. Obviously, it would help if you chose someone you trust entirely, lest you end up losing both of them by pushing them together.
Check the cheater’s accounts you have access to
Now that everything we do, say, and photograph ends up living somewhere in the Cloud, it’s almost impossible to eliminate incriminating evidence. If you have access to any of your partner’s accounts, they’re useful places to go for evidence of cheating.
Look for emails in the trash folder, photos that are in the Cloud but not on their phone, or separate unmarked folders in their drive.
How to catch a cheater using a cell phone
We are constantly holding onto our phones nowadays. Barely a minute goes by that we aren’t checking messages or scrolling through our social media feeds. It’s our main form of communication and our first point of call for information. So, if your partner is cheating on you, they’ll be using the phone to do it somehow.
If you have access to your partner’s phone then you have some other evidence-gathering methods at your disposal.
One option is to track your partner’s movements and their travel history with Uber or other similar taxi apps. You can also check call history, texts, deleted files, and browser history on their phone. Sometimes the cheating evidence is not right on the surface. You may need to look carefully for apps or files hidden in strangely named folders.
You can also track your partner’s location remotely with Google Find My Device or Find My iPhone on iCloud.com. You will need authorization information to get into these accounts (also, such applications should be active on the target phone that you want to track).
Another option is installing a spy app on the phone of a possible cheater to catch him/her.
What are spy apps?
Spy apps are software designed to secretly check messages and calls to the phone they are installed on. They mean you can get information from someone’s phone without having it in your hand.
How can spy apps catch a cheater?
With a spy app installed, you can see all of the messages, calls, and photos present on your partner’s phone. This way, you can gather all the evidence you need and hold onto it, even if your partner deletes it from their phone.
There are many spy apps on the market. For example, you could use the following:
Once installed on the device you are spying on, mSpy displays in your online monitoring account all messages, calls, GPS occasions, and instant messages: Instagram, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Facebook, etc., from the tracked phone. It updates every 5 minutes remotely and can be used on Android or Apple devices. Sometimes jailbreak or rooting might be required for advanced spying features.
With uMobix you can monitor popular phone activities on a different device in real-time, remotely. It monitors messages, calls, GPS locations, media files, social media messages, and has a keylogger capability. You also don’t need a jailbreak to install this app. The app runs on both Android and iPhone devices.
FlexiSPY solution allows you to record ordinary and VoIP calls, voicemails, besides general widespread monitoring functions. You will need to jailbreak or root the target device to use this app.
What is more, FlexiSPY has a 24-hour free trial option, so you could test it before buying the app subscription.
If you are dealing with an Android phone, you will need access to the phone to install it. If you are using an iPhone then you’ll need access to the connected iCloud account.
You could also give your partner a new phone as a present, having pre-installed the spy app.
You may need to jailbreak or root the target phone for some advanced features on the various spy apps.
Getting to the truth
As with many things in life, there is no guarantee that, even with the best tips and tricks, you’ll be able to catch your partner cheating or be completely sure of what exactly is going on.
If you use just one of the methods we’ve outlined above, it might not work and won’t help you prove your suspicions, but using all of them will give you a pretty good chance of catching someone who you suspect is cheating on you.
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